Yes, yes, it would have gone a very long way. XP I draw some of my favorite-est indications of H/C based on how Dean sits down on chairs so IT WOULD HAVE GONE SUCH A LONG WAY. XD
But you know, I think I'm slowly wandering away from the school of needing even that. Because if I consider examples from real life, I think that depending on the person, depending on the context, there are any number of ways people can outwardly exhibit (or fail to) even the craziest of traumas and mental collapses. Which maybe is why I'm so wildly comfortable with Dean's poor interpersonal choices and means of handling everyone important to him, ever, while another set of Deanfans are really not. Being an asshole being the symptom of the greatest salience? Yeah, I can buy that.
I guess where I'm at right now with Dean (lol I think about this far too often and with far too much care, but hey, it's fandom. I know I'm in EXCELLENT company for this kind of thing, XD) is, there's a strain of Dean H/Cdom that swears on their Dead H/C membership cards that people cannot keep all of that down, people cannot hide these things, there has to be that meltdown (as I mentioned previously). And while that's often true (particularly given the volume of Things Kept Down when you start talking Winchesters), no, it's not always true. Because the truth of it is, some people can.
And for some people it actually works; it's not always desperate repression that comes back to bite you in the ass even worse. I don't...necessarily think Dean is one of those people; I'm actually fairly sure he's not. XP But in terms of these last couple years, I'm inclined to believe that yes, apparently he can actualize at least the first part of this strain of people, and "keep it down." And if in a given stretch of time it doesn't show, then there's even a chance that he doesn't feel it for that stretch, either; it's on lock down, and it's behaving. It's not the same as it's non-existence, or even "healing" per se, but those things aren't always an option. And it's not as though the idea of a "talking cure" has been universally proven to be some gold standard. If silence and lockdown work for Dean, I can root for him on that. And if it doesn't, well, eventually he'll be pressed to try something else then, won't he. XP So I do find myself wanting to trust him, in some way, with all of that, I guess.
Of course, at the same time, I don't deny that he is also tearing down everything around him, and that's not handling it, it won't help him, and it's certainly not remotely fair to Sam or Castiel or Kevin or anyone else. So it's kind of like, well Dean, you have two choices. Destroy everything from the inside-out, or the outside-in? :(
Sooooo uhhhh that there would be my most recent fledgling overinvolved no-fourth-wall Dean H/C thoughts, in a very big nutshell. XP I think that's a fair outline of how I write late-season Sam with respect to Dean as well, though I don't think my Sam is quiiite where the above is yet, and also has obvious personal investment in not being collateral as far as outside-in scenarios go, inasmuch as he may be afraid of an inside-out one. So that colors things considerably, too. XP
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branchandroot
tl;dr tl;dr tl;dr !!!!
Date: 2013-10-24 11:26 pm (UTC)But you know, I think I'm slowly wandering away from the school of needing even that. Because if I consider examples from real life, I think that depending on the person, depending on the context, there are any number of ways people can outwardly exhibit (or fail to) even the craziest of traumas and mental collapses. Which maybe is why I'm so wildly comfortable with Dean's poor interpersonal choices and means of handling everyone important to him, ever, while another set of Deanfans are really not. Being an asshole being the symptom of the greatest salience? Yeah, I can buy that.
I guess where I'm at right now with Dean (lol I think about this far too often and with far too much care, but hey, it's fandom. I know I'm in EXCELLENT company for this kind of thing, XD) is, there's a strain of Dean H/Cdom that swears on their Dead H/C membership cards that people cannot keep all of that down, people cannot hide these things, there has to be that meltdown (as I mentioned previously). And while that's often true (particularly given the volume of Things Kept Down when you start talking Winchesters), no, it's not always true. Because the truth of it is, some people can.
And for some people it actually works; it's not always desperate repression that comes back to bite you in the ass even worse. I don't...necessarily think Dean is one of those people; I'm actually fairly sure he's not. XP But in terms of these last couple years, I'm inclined to believe that yes, apparently he can actualize at least the first part of this strain of people, and "keep it down." And if in a given stretch of time it doesn't show, then there's even a chance that he doesn't feel it for that stretch, either; it's on lock down, and it's behaving. It's not the same as it's non-existence, or even "healing" per se, but those things aren't always an option. And it's not as though the idea of a "talking cure" has been universally proven to be some gold standard. If silence and lockdown work for Dean, I can root for him on that. And if it doesn't, well, eventually he'll be pressed to try something else then, won't he. XP So I do find myself wanting to trust him, in some way, with all of that, I guess.
Of course, at the same time, I don't deny that he is also tearing down everything around him, and that's not handling it, it won't help him, and it's certainly not remotely fair to Sam or Castiel or Kevin or anyone else. So it's kind of like, well Dean, you have two choices. Destroy everything from the inside-out, or the outside-in? :(
Sooooo uhhhh that there would be my most recent fledgling overinvolved no-fourth-wall Dean H/C thoughts, in a very big nutshell. XP I think that's a fair outline of how I write late-season Sam with respect to Dean as well, though I don't think my Sam is quiiite where the above is yet, and also has obvious personal investment in not being collateral as far as outside-in scenarios go, inasmuch as he may be afraid of an inside-out one. So that colors things considerably, too. XP