I'm more than happy to talk about my upbringing, especially if you find elements of it that resonate with you. I think childhoods can be the most difficult aspects of ourselves to untangle, and the pieces of our childhoods that are the most different from the common experience are the very hardest to deal with. Most people can sympathize with over-protective parents; most people have no clue what you mean when you say "only bad women were the kinds of women who made their own decisions and acted on them; everyone knew that." They understand the words, the logical meaning behind them, but they can't tease out the layers of codependency, self-doubt, and ingrained obedience in those words, how those realities affect you, how they leave you vulnerable (I mean seriously, this girl just got in a car with two random dudes because they said someone was chasing her. Vulnerable.) And sometimes, you can't tease those layers out either, because they are the only reality you know. Talking, sharing, comparing experiences - these things, I think, help us tear into these shadowed aspects of ourselves and make some sense of them.

Just finished "Angels at the Door." Wow.

I'm really, really interested in your comments at the end, and what it would mean to be raised like this without the religious elements. I'm extremely familiar with Dorothy's attitudes throughout the fic - from the overwhelming fear of self-autonomy and the need for male protection (physically and spiritually), to the confusion over why someone wouldn't do all the bad things once they knew they were going to hell anyway, to the slow, painful process of the real world butting in on childhood lies and manipulation. But those things were so centered in my faith for me and my parents that I can't imagine them without it (it's likely beside the point, but this is why I struggle having faith at all these days, because I can't exactly separate it from the fear and desperation to please of my upbringing).