ext_351502 ([identity profile] tifaching.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] brightly_lit 2014-08-24 03:02 am (UTC)

I write a lot of this kind of dialogue and didn't realize it was problematic. I really like making sure that the reader can tell who is talking and what the mood is just from the words that are used.

I think your meaning and who is speaking is perfectly clear in your snippet and it's a much cleaner read than if it had 'Sam said' or 'Dean said' after every dialogue bit.

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