Review of Ten Inch Hero starring Jensen and Danneel Ackles

[brightly_lit]

“Ten Inch Hero” is a (kind of weak) play on words, since they work in a sandwich shop (the ‘hero’ part), and there’s a LOT of discussion of sex, including multiple scenes in a row where they talk a lot about penis size, whether size matters, yada yada.

It’s that kind of movie--an indie that seems to think it’s being edgy and hip with a lot of dirty/frank talk about sex and relationships but that doesn’t actually break any new ground (except the scene where two of the girls help/listen to the third masturbate, which just ends up being kind of awkward), largely perhaps due to the pervasively sweet, feel-good direction. It’s the kind of movie you can quote as you go, because a lot of what happens is pretty cliched (although the characters are fairly original, and the script has some great moments).

All that said/if you can get past that, it’s eminently watchable and pretty enjoyable.

Piper has moved to Santa Cruz believing that the daughter she gave up for adoption when she was 15 lives there. Needing a job, she applies at the sandwich shop where the requisite gang of quirky characters have created a makeshift family. (I love this shit, hence my enjoyment of the film, because that’s really what it’s all about.) Trucker, the old hippie who runs the place, is infatuated with the lady who has a new agey shop across the way. She is actually psychic and has a deep wisdom and knowing about everyone she meets. Now, I worked for a psychic who knew a million other psychics and new age types, and I can tell you from knowing these people, her character is UTTERLY UNREALISTIC, but I love a good no-holds-barred romantic portrayal of a certain type of person, so though it was SO cheesy, it was very charming, and really works for the film.

Jen’s most important relationship is with someone she’s never met whom she spills everything to online. Tish (Danneel’s character) is an unrepentant maneater, whom Priestly (Jensen’s character) pines for, but she never shows any interest in him, he believes because he dresses what I guess the movie considers “punk” and is a “freak.” I was a punk, I hung with the punks, and I don’t know what’s going on with his wardrobe, which is ... ‘creative’ to say the least, but definitely not punk, or even something I’ve ever seen a real human being wear. (Except maybe the kilt-with-combat boots getup, which also looked deliciously hot.) But chalk it up to the joys of Hollywood attempting to realistically portray a type and getting it hilariously wrong.


a small example for you ....

More to the point, a major theme of the movie is looking past appearances, which is a bit obnoxious considering that the three main girls are played by hot, hotter, and ridiculously hot, and the “freak” “no one looks twice at” is played by Jensen. (Who, kind of depressingly, has to dress like a normal to get Tish to take notice.)

But anyway ... the movie sets up these characters and then follows them through their personal stories in a way that’s very heartwarming and satisfying for everyone. Though there are a lot of cliches, there are some great, unexpected lines, and the character ideas are fairly original, especially Tish, who’s not treated as bad or evil by the script because she’s a manipulative slut, and she doesn’t get catty with other girls; the movie makes a lot of (usually successful) attempts to be feminist and have very modern attitudes about gender-related perceptions.

I’ve never seen Danneel in anything before this, so I didn’t know what to expect. She and Jensen really have a lot of chemistry! (Take off your tin hat for that one.) You’ll recognize most of the actors--John Doe (Trucker) and Clea DuVall (Jen) have been in a ton of stuff--and all the main players in the sandwich-shop family do a great job. Jensen is typically great. But honestly, I was most impressed by Danneel, who was tasked with playing a character not a lot of people would be able to play so thoroughly and believably; plus, you could tell she added a bunch of her own flair and ideas to it. Also, she has a fucking perfect body, which we know because she gets 100% completely naked during a sex scene and you see everything. So, if you have some hankering to know what Jensen’s looking at in bed--AND I KNOW SOME OF YOU DO--this is an ideal source.

As for Jensen, there’s a lot of Dean in his character here, and a lot that’s unique to this character, which is adorable and always fun whenever he’s onscreen. He’s kind of too big for a movie and a role this small; I don’t think it’s just because I’m a SPN fan that my eyes went to him even when he was in the background with his back to the camera. The man has PRESENCE. (And he finally gets to look as tall as he is! He looms over everyone else.) He has a lot of cringey lines (he makes a big speech while buying tampons, for instance), but delivers them with characteristic aplomb, and his character is sweet and adorable.

There are some weird moments in the film, including some of Priestly’s odder lines (his declaring something “gay” really dates the film and falls flat in light of modern-day values); an unexpectedly disturbing, violent turn late in the film (it’s not bad, but it is out of place, and very ... shall we say ... testosterone-filled and NOT girl-power; also Priestly instantly gets his ass TOTALLY kicked, which is a real change from watching Dean all this time); some deliberately skeezy characters and some characters that aren’t meant to be skeezy but nonetheless are (like Piper’s decades-older, unintentionally creepy-acting love interest).

All in all, this movie is probably not going to change your life. But it’s a fine way to spend a couple of hours, especially if ya like looking at Jensen.

Comments

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

At least Jensen got to do something different. Every thing else has been variations on the same situations (i.e. supernatural, monsters, etc.). I was pleased to see his name on an entertainment show birthday crawl (along with Justin Bieber, of course).

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

I'm glad he came up on the birthday crawl! (Did you see Jared's hilarious b-day tweet to a good friend?)

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes!

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for doing this Hun. I kinda feel the same about this as you did about Porky's 2, so I'm very happy to know what happens, mostly as now I don't have to watch it!
I'm so glad Jen gets to look tall and that he got to do something a bit different : ) x

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

That's so funny you felt the same about this as I felt about Porky's 2! I could watch a feel-good indie any day of the week, so never fear; if the boys are in something like that, I'm your girl! Unfortunately, it seems like mostly what they're in is horror movies, for which I am definitely NOT your girl.

Yeah, his character in this is SOOO sweet; it's great to see him really channel that aspect of a character.

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

I'm happy to watch the feel good indie's just not one with Daneel in it! I know it's irrational but I don't even like seeing pictures of the two of them together, it just feels so intrusive to me. I feel hellish uncomfortable watching the stuff between Jared and Gen in the show now too.
Also I find that thing of people talking about sex or sex scenes generally in movies, to just be super awkward. The only time I've ever thought a sex scene was good it was the one in Don't Look Now with Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie (I think) Not gratuitous, not gaudy, just loving and realistic.

Give me a slasher movie on the other hand and I'm well happy : )

I'm constantly surprised by the stuff that squicks me! x

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

Ohh, I know how you feel. I saw a video of them together getting papped and a picture that I suspect was taken on the sly by a fan of them going about their business and it felt so awful and intrusive, as you say. He says he's very private, and the sense that he is is palpable. But if they chose to be in this movie, that doesn't feel intrusive to me, especially since they don't get it on or anything. I agree about Jared and Gen, though; that felt peepshow-ish. It was a little TOO realistic! :-p

The sex talk in this film was extraordinarily awkward, so I guess you're glad you skipped it. ;-]

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

Ooh, what a fun question!! Sounds like we had a lot in common; I had my punk heyday in the late '80's/early '90's, and it was prettier than hardcore ... although I did sometimes wear my black leather jacket and safety pins in my ears (terrorizing the attendees at the classical music concerts I went to sometimes; what can I say, I like all kinds of music ;-) ). I listened to some UK punk, and US punk, but I was more of a New Wave fan, actually.

[strgazr04.livejournal.com]

Something interesting I found out about TIH from a friend who met with Danneel and asked her about it - originally there was a scene between Tish and Priestly where she says he grew up in a pretty straight-laced preppy sort of family. I can't remember all of it now but it helped make a little more sense to his 'Banana Republic' outfit at the end. Wish they left it in because a lot of people were confused about the ending, so much so that they ask Jensen about it at cons sometimes.

[septembers-coda.livejournal.com]

Interesting! Glad I wasn't the only one confused, though slightly annoyed would be a better description. As others said here, my feelings were hurt for Priestly that he had to change his appearance for Tish to like him.

[strgazr04.livejournal.com]

I totally agree. Though I couldn't help thinking he looked 10 yrs younger all clean cut, like he was back on DOOL again. Maybe partly due to the shy, bashful demeanor.

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

Ah, this is very interesting and good to know. Maybe the idea was that he WASN'T being himself by punking out?? But as a former punker, I strongly disagree with the notion.

And aha, he gets asked about it at cons! Do you happen to remember what he's said there? I'm glad to know it was at least addressed in the script, even if it ended up disappointing.

[strgazr04.livejournal.com]

It was in a con video I saw on YT. I'm guessing the con was a few yrs ago or so. Not too long after the movie was released maybe? I can't remember which con it was though I know it was definitely not the UK or Rome cons. I want to say it was Torcon 2012 from what I see on Superwiki but I can't find the full vid. I just found one of him asking "and what was the second part of that question" in regards to playing Priestly. But it could be either LA, Chicon, or Vancon as I know for sure it was during the main J2 panel. The person asking mentioned their confusion over the ending. I can't recall exactly what he said. I do remember him saying to the girl asking "but you got the right message" when she said what she thought the movie was trying to say (i.e. be true to yourself).

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that's cool; sounds like a sweet answer from Jensen.

And I'm impressed with your memory for the con vids--sometimes I can't resist clicking on vid after vid, but unless there's something especially notable about the year or location, I'd never remember which con it happened at! I know you've been to cons--are they worth the dough?

[strgazr04.livejournal.com]

I just...well I watch too many con vids lol! That's how I remember them. I can't go to the larger ones so I depend on those videos. Especially before the cons came to NJ. I'm in NY so the NJcons are the only ones I go to (besides that one yr in Boston though that was a last minute whim to go for Sunday). I think the cons are worth it. I would never go if I didn't get a gold ticket however. Then again, I'm disabled and wouldn't be able to see anything but the back of the chair in front of me if I didn't pay extra for front row access. It's not stadium seating or anything so all the seats are level you know? They are a lot of fun though and it's cool to be able to ask the actors different questions that you wonder while watching the episodes. Granted, I'd rather hear about the filming process or whatever backstory they have as far as characterization than the silly questions some people ask (i.e. Kiss/kill/marry etc) but no matter what, it's a good time. I've made friends via cons too so that's always nice to see everyone again. To give you an idea, at least in my experience at NJcon, it's about 800 people at the con. It's biggest on Sunday of course. Lots of crowds and long lines but lots of excitement and squee-ing as well hehe! I've met Jared about 3x or so and finally got to meet Jensen last yr and that was a blast. If you can go to a con, I'd definitely do it at least once.

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

Jeez, you'd think they'd at least make sure you had a seat you could see from if you're disabled! Then again, what I've heard implies Creation sets it up so it's kind of every fan for herself at cons, alas ....

ARGH, the shag/marry/kill question!! I'm with you; I love hearing about their process and their lives and stuff.

And yeah, I'd LOVE to meet other fans at cons!! That would be the coolest.

800 people, eh? That's not too bad; I pictured way more people and crowding. The vids make it look so fun, but then again, I'm an introvert, so sometimes I think it would all be too overwhelming. I'm seriously not sure if I could keep my wits about me if I met them! Staring at gorgeous Jared .... Is he nice?

[strgazr04.livejournal.com]

Yea you are kind of on your own. I usually have to bring a family member with me or else I'd never make it. They are getting better though. At least last time they roped off a little area for the disabled at the karaoke party. Unfortunately it was right under a massive speaker and thus I had no hearing in my right ear for the rest of the night. But hey, it's the thought that counts!

As far as the 800 ppl go, trust me it's A LOT of people. And NJ is the "small con". I've been told that LA and Vancon and others are much, much bigger.

Jared, my goodness he is so sweet. I was lucky enough to get the chance to go to those private meet and greets for him a few times. He's a total ham and is very personable. And if you think his hair is nice on camera, it's so much better in person! lol sounds stupid but it's so true. He was constantly messing with it during the m&g to get it out of his eyes and stuff. It's shinier than any woman's hair that I've ever seen. He was definitely blessed with the good genes. Same goes for Jensen. The first time I ever saw him in person, I was on line for photo ops. Now if you're disabled, they let you come to the front so you don't have to stand so long because the lines are insane. So I was at the front of the line near the door where the celebs go in to the photo op room. I'm standing there with a few friends and my mom. Jensen walks down the hall with a security guard and he's all smiles. He grins at us - mind you this is like 9am - and all the squeeful chatter of the whole photo op line goes silent, all our jaws on the floor. He looks at least 10 yrs younger and so much slimmer than he does on camera. You hear his deep voice twang "Alright, let's do this!" and he disappears in the room. We are all struck dumb. My mom turns to me and goes "oh my god...". And she's not even a fangirl! I laughed so hard. But she was totally right. While Jared is welcoming and sweet and silly and 'aw shucks' charming, Jensen is that reserved, mature, clearly-a-movie-star kind of beautiful. Not to say he's not funny. He's just more of that sarcastic, catch you when you least expect it humor. He was so nice to me too. He has so much poise and when you go to his m&g, he makes sure to look you right in the eye as he answers your question while Jared is so bubbly he likes getting everyone in on everything like one big party. They both make a point to give you as much of their time as they can in the 3sec (yes literally) you get to talk to them. It's also true that they do recognize you when you go to more than one con.

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

Augghhh, I love your con stories! I could seriously read this stuff all day. Jared DOES have beautiful hair. GAH, how I'd love to be able to feel how soft it is in person ... I've seen others talk about how personable and friendly he is (and they've also mentioned that when they're in the same room like at a photo op, Jensen isn't so friendly like Jared). I'm a Sam!girl, so that would make me HAPPY. I'm SO glad they at least let you stand at the front of the line now! It's very interesting what you say, that Jensen has that movie-star presence--I haven't ever heard anyone else describe it that way, but now that you have, I can see it.

catch you when you least expect it humor.

Deets, if you feel like sharing ...? :-D

But 3 seconds!! :-# (So cool, though, that they recognize you if you've gone to more than one con!!)

[strgazr04.livejournal.com]

Really? I've never heard that about Jensen. Jared might be more bubbly but Jensen was nothing but sweet to me. I felt like he could tune out all the craziness going on to give me a moment of his time just for me. Every fan that comes up gets his focused attention and same amount of care because each of them are important. With him, you get this focused calm while with Jared it's like he's hanging out with all his friends. (Not to mention it's adorable to be greeted with a twangy "Heya sweetie" from Jared XP) During autos, I gave Jensen an info pamphlet about the service dog organization I got my dog from so he could pass it on to Levi's parents if he wished. I told him I was a special edu teacher and wrote my thesis on animals in education. He listened to my little three sec chat intently and seemed honestly grateful that I gave him the info. He even paused to ask me what my name was and repeated it so he'd remember. ("What did you say your name was?" "Lauren" "Lauren? Well it's really nice to meet you, Lauren. Thanks for coming out." And that's all I remember before nearly blanking out on the way back to my seat LOL) I thought that was really sweet. I was also told by one of the Creation con volunteers that "the boys seem to really like your dog. They've been talking about him." That had me floored. Couldn't believe it hehe. Makes you wonder if they trade fan stories on the flight back to Canada or something.

When I walked up to him in the photo room, he immediately bent down and shook my hand as I introduced myself. I had two photos with him. The first it was me, Jensen, and my service dog. The second one I wanted it just the two of us. The con before I had a photo with Jared where we were posing back to back with our arms crossed though I had Jared standing so it was more like my back to his hip lol. So I asked for the same with Jensen. He paused and goes "Are you sure you want me to stand up?" with this concerned look on his face since we were clearly like 3ft of difference in height. I explained what I wanted and he grinned, jumping right in. It made for a great photo. It should be on my journal if you want to see. Everything is tagged per NJcon.

As for the humor, I don't really have anything specific. It's more like he lets Jared goof off then chimes in at that perfect moment for the punch line, you know? My brother is like that. He's quiet and reserved but when he opens up he has this amazing sarcastic wit that takes you by surprise because you don't picture it coming from the guy who'd been so reserved the whole time. Does that make sense? I think Jensen opens up more when he feels comfortable. He pauses to take in the situation before jumping in with both feet. For that reason I think he's a very thoughtful and intelligent kind of person. For example, in all his interviews (like the one Winchester Radio just did) he gives such deep, clearly thought out answers. You can tell he thinks about his craft on his own time outside of work, that he really cares about it more than just the words on the page. (I feel it's rare to find two actors who put so much into their work the way the Js do). I saw that during the meet and greet too. He makes sure to answer every part of your question. It's clear he would never want to disappoint the fans. I think while being very poignant he can still be laid back and silly. Maybe that's why the Js get along so well. Like a ying and yang, just as the Winchesters themselves. :D

And yes they do recognize you. Granted, because of my situation I stand out more than most, but still. I can tell Misha recognizes me now too. I remember him spotting me on the autograph line during my 3rd con or so. They are all really personable. I think that's what makes these cons so much fun.

Sorry for the ramble o.o